Wednesday, 18 February 2009
First supervised masturbation - odd feelings of happiness
In the morning Mistress elaborates on Her rules: i am also entitled to hug Her spontaneously in the mornings and kiss Her goodbye as i leave for work. i write this in my diary, i get a bit excited and i just have to masturbate a little.
i call Her from work to tell Her priorities in my life have changed, and i will leave home early again to get back to Her. I look for Her, run up and down our slopy property. I may eat soup. She will only make Her favourite foods in the future – if She makes anything. Then we make a trip to a café. There i say to Her i would like to order nothing for me, just for Her. She orders for Herself at the counter, then the waiter asks me what else. he answers: “He will have an ice cream” and guides me to pick a cheap small ice cream bar. I need to carry Her tea to the table. Of course i also carry our basket all the time as we go for a walk in the forest afterwards. Later i may read the papers.
In the evening i make sandwiches for all with our daughter Lina. i take care to also clean up the kitchen. Mistress and my son Max are putting together the bed i bought from Ikea. After eating i clear the table, fill the dishwasher and put it on, and help with the bed. Then i need to clean up the kitchen, empty the dishwasher, switch off the lights. Mistress makes me change our sheets. Then She guides me to wash my teeth, use the toilet. i wait by the toilet as Mistress pees, and i need to take Her knickers to the laundry basket.
i go naked to our bedroom, where She already waits for me in Her lingerie. i need to kneel on the bed. She examines my epilated crotch and erection, does not touch anything. I am leaking pre-cum, i need to wipe it off. I may sit on the bed. We discuss D/S, about switching cars so that She would take my big Mercedes, and i Her small Toyota, about Her starting use our bank accounts. She decided to deny my masturbation altogether. We discuss chastity belts, and the possibility to time peeing so that i wouldn’t be smelling like piss in the office. i get supervised masturbation kneeling by the bed for 5 minutes and stop. A long good night kiss makes me hot like when we were dating.
i have not watched TV for an entire week. i have not drunk beer or any other alcohol, and feel no need for them. They are a vague substitute for pleasures like this. i don’t leave my clothes around, Mistress manages to make good use of me in domestic labour, i’m with my family a lot, and i am like a teenager in love. i live for a morning kiss, good night kiss, and a supervised masturbation session, and look forward to sex like a win in lottery. i wouldn’t like to exchange this ongoing feeling of happiness and anticipation to a momentary orgasm. i get my pleasure from the pleasure of others, my wife’s orgasm is also my orgasm. Her will becomes my will. Life is easy, as i don’t have to decide what to do, feel guilty of selfishness and not worry that She is angry because i’m doing this and not something else. Am i an odd remain of an ancient matriarchal tribe?