Saturday, 12 November 2011

my mom dies - service continues

Monday

Still on holiday… In the morning i wake up at 6.20 and pluck my pubic hair as i can’t epilate. i update my blog before Mistress wakes up. i may kneel before Her as She presses my head in Her lap. After breakfast W/we go on a shopping spree in Bergen, to use the rest of some coupons W/we have, and to test sofas.

W/we get back to Her mom for lunch and visit my mom. It was the last time my kids saw my Mom alive. my mom was at that time at an intensive care department in an elderly people’s home. She had had pneumonia and fallen in a coma for a month, now she had surprisingly woken up, started to even speak. There’s a tube in her gullet, giving liquid food to her. She repeats some words i say to her, nothing else. i ask both kids by the bed one at a time. i tell my mom about there schoolwork and how pretty Lina is, and how big Mats is: ‘a big man’.

W/we drive to a spa for the next night. In the morning i wake up first, pluck some pubic hair in the bathroom. Mistress joins me in the bathroom. W/we go for a morning dip, then to breakfast with kids. A little time in the room, then W/we go back to the pool area with Lina. W/we do the big slide together (maybe the last time, she’s growing up) and she likes the cold water pool as well. At noon W/we check out.

W/we drive back to Bergen. W/we try to visit an old stone church, but that is closed. i get a little angry, so She gives me a self service snow wash on the churchyard. She orders me to take a handful of snow in my hand and wash my face with it. She oversees the wash by me. i cannot but obey.

At 2.15 i and Mistress visit my mom again. She is breathing heavily, making a sound by each breath. A nurse comes, checks her out, tells her she has visitors. ‘Yes’, she says, her last words. She understands we are there and she gets peaceful, she starts dozing off, eyes close and open. Soon she starts sleeping without breaks. i’m silent, i think it’s better she sleeps now, we leave to her mom who has made whitefish soup. It’s a sunny day, the morning was really cold, minus 16. W/we eat and have coffee. After an hour W/we leave for home. W/we are tired. After half an hour of driving Mistress gets a call. She seems alarmed, it's about my mom. i think someone’s calling from the department. She waits until the next junction before She tells me: my mom is dead. Only half an hour after W/we left she had been found looking quite grey, with a small pulse only. She had said her last words to U/us. W/we thought she fell asleep but it was eternal sleep. It was a real surprise, as She had just woken from her coma. Her heart couldn’t take the stress however. Mistress drives the rest of the journey, i talk to my sister on the phone.

Only at home the finality of the situation takes over and i start weeping powerlessly. She orders me to take care of the fireplace. The death of my mom doesn’t free me from Her service. MsRika’s book has arrived. She orders me to mke brekfast next morning and read MsRika only for 45 minutes each morning before She wakes up.

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