Tuesday, 14 August 2012
Running into problems
Next weekend W/we had the biggest confrontation of our D/s relationship. It started with me not abiding to the rule of me not being allowed to sit on the sofa and watch TV. Because of that Mistress was tense and irritated all the time, and stopped dominating me and giving me any orders. Then i lost it, didn't shout but smashed a newspaper in the bin and left the house, went walking and thought this is the end, should i move out etc.
Maybe one reason to my outburst was hormonal changes caused by finasteride that i was taking at that time. Later i changed it to dutasteride and it is working better for me. Both rise the level of oestrogen and decrease the level of testosterone especially dihydrotestosterone. There are many good effects, but moodiness is one of the side effects.
i went to see a stupid movie , ate a hamburger and walked back 3,5 hours later. We didn't talk in the evening, i went upstairs right away and considered sleeping in the spare room but decided to sleep in O/our bed anyway.
In the morning i made porridge like always, but after Mistress joined me i suggested a talk and asked what comes after the D/s, which seemed to end, or are W/we together at all. It was a sad talk, She was very disappointed of me bringing up throwing O/our 25 years to waste, and not supporting Her when She is not well. It turned out She had a hard time right now because Her period was starting, She had problems at work, with Her mother, stress because of an upcoming project, to start with. i had not thought about Her possible problems at all. Anyway, W/we went O/our separate ways during the day, i picked mushroom alone and brought pieces of log from the forest to be chopped to firewood.
Later in the bed i felt Her hand probing, and was ready to conciliation immediately. i started working between Her legs, this time licking her clit, and fucking Her with my fingers - first one, then two, and three. She was as close to cumming as ever without actual penetration. She said She has just masturbated (before i got to bed) and therefore it's not likely that She cums again. She wanted me to put on a condom and had me lay on my back and She mounted me, made me spread my legs and started fucking me with Her pussy, with both Her legs between mine. We used that position a lot some years ago, but not during the 2 years D/s phase of O/our relationship. She used to make me cum that way sometimes, so that i didn't move an inch myself. i only barely could get over the edge and orgasm, and the orgasm inside Her, but immobile, was a devastating experience each time. This way i can imagine being fucked, genitally, in a real pussy. Nothing compares to this feeling.
i raised my legs and put my heels on Her butt as She was fucking me. i was gradually approaching orgasm. i whispered to Her that She could raise Herself as i reach orgasm, and leave me with a ruined one. The position was again working its magic and i was panting heavily. Then i reached the edge and informed Mistress. She raised Herself, and at that moment i knew i had warned Her too early. The feeling died, no ejaculation whatsoever. Probably the reason for the quick drop was the slow sort of the pleasure caused in this passive position. i ended up with an empty condom on my hard dick.
Anyway the D/s phase of O/our relationship seemed to be over. No commands, no obeying. i stopped using the cb-2000. After more than a year locked all days, it was an odd feeling to be free. i wasn't happy about my freedom. i didn't use it to masturbate until came the weekend and my Wife left to Sweden for a work trip. i was a bit surprised that She had left a long to-do list. i thought i only needed to take the kids shopping for clothes and get Lina her new rabbit and rabbit cage, but besides She ordered me to collect all plums and apples and make some jelly and take most to juicemakery. On Saturday She had ordered workmen arrive to work on O/our shed project which was about completed. i needed not to take part in that. Instead i was taking care of the apples. In the afternoon Lina's friend came for a sleepover. i brought us a movie and snacks and made us a tortilla meal.
i was busy during the days working with the tasks, but in the evenings i, for the first time in 2 years, endulged in excessive masturbation and reading through some Femdom stuff in our toybox i printed from the net 1997-9. Funny how most of that stuff doesn't come up in google searches any more. However i didn't allow myself an orgasm.
On Sunday my Wife returned, and we made love immediately. She cummed but i didn't. Soon things started to drift back to how it were. i started to use the cb again from Monday on.